I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: An Interview.
The action icon is rightfully celebrated as an action movie legend. But, in the midst of his star power in the late 20th century, he also starred in several genuinely hilarious comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this December.
The Role and That Line
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who goes undercover as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. For much of the story, the crime storyline functions as a basic structure for the star to have charming scenes with children. Without a doubt the standout features a child named Joseph, who unprompted stands up and informs the stoic star, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “I appreciate the insight.”
The boy behind the line was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. His career featured a character arc on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the pivotal role of the resurrected boy in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with a slate of movies in development. Additionally, he is a regular on the con circuit. Recently discussed his experiences from the set of Kindergarten Cop 35 years later.
Behind the Scenes
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're snapshots. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My parents, primarily my mom would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was a mass tryout. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all patiently queue, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, deliver a quick line they wanted and that was it. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, once I learned to read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?
He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I guess makes sense. It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was fun to be around.
“It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a huge celebrity because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he didn't frighten me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He gifted all the students in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being positive?
You know, it's funny, that movie was this cultural thing. It was such a big movie, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, the production design, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was brand new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would hand me their devices to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all childhood recollections.
The Line
OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember the context? Did you grasp the meaning?
At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it made adults laugh. I knew it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given an exception in this case because it was comedic.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it originated, according to family lore, was they didn't have specific roles. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it was more of a collaboration, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she believed it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and history proved her correct.
